My story. Wine and me. Me and wine. Part 3.

The today and beyond

For the past 3 years, the road has not been easy. It never is for anyone who starts something new, alone, without experience, in a new country, without anyone around. 

I’ve made stupid decisions, rushed ones. A couple of good ones. I lost big money with my first accountant. The bastard. It looks like he wanted to teach me a lesson. Thank you very much, lesson learnt, uppercut to the chin and the wallet. Big Ouch! 

I have asked the wrong people for the wrong advice. I did not know which answers I needed. It is easy to bark at the wrong tree in desperation when you need someone local, but you do not know where or who to ask. 

I have invested effort, time and money in developing services that when put on the website no even a single soul signed up. It has happened more than once.

On a personal level, I stepped out from the provider role to become a stay-at-home-dad and a house-husband. I found easier to perform the first job but struggling with the second one. I was ready to change the mindset, but only from the logical side. Inside me, it’s been another story, a new song that does not rhyme. I’ve been often crippled by self-doubt. Will I ever be able to pay for something? At least the food for the cats. Did my Sapiens ancestors ever consider other ways to provide?

Low self-esteem has not been a big issue in the past. But when you struggle to see the tunnel let alone any light, confidence takes a massive blow pushing you well down. Is wine actually so important? Why obsess with something that people seem to care so little about? Wine and emotions, emotions and wine? Really, Juan, what are you talking about? 

I underestimated the time it takes to learn and improve. It is painfully slow the trial and error approach. It takes ages to read the movements, the changes that are happening inside. It takes even longer interpreting the messages from the market outside. The feedback seems never conclusive, the target audience biased. When you offer something that doesn’t get real momentum, you are never quite sure why. 

The cost is also immense. 

I open the bank account and I see the red line of my company as if plugged to a “life support machine”. Timidly moving up “up and down”, dreading the moment it will go straight, flat, lifeless. No more resources, so let’s pack and go back…to do what?  

I have felt exhausted, overwhelmed, had money anxiety (I still have), big insecurities (I still have) and all the states of stress in one day. 

What I did not foresee though was the crying. I’ve realised the entrepreneurial journey gathered also momentum inside. I have shed tears of happiness, tears of excitement, tears of pain. For simple things, like a wine order at the start, a Google review, one booking. The entrepreneurial telenovela becomes personal, it is difficult to detach, things hurt inside. Weeping can become constant, even if you thought you were a strong guy.

But one thing, I cannot deny.

That jumping into the unknown like the “Gorrion”, the House Sparrow, to deal with this mountain of uncertainty, indeed helped me with my original plan: I did restore my emotional link to wine. 

I pushed it even further. 

I have visited new regions, travelled more, tasted more, studied more. I suffered again at the WSET HQ in London, but they gave me the nod. I am a natural they said. I can teach. Hurrrrayyyyy! I am genuinely happy in the classroom. Getting the hang of being half-teacher, half-clown. I like creating interactions, making wine knowledge accessible, visual, easier to grab. I feel joy for the opportunity to give back.

The years of experience have paid off. I have a deeper understanding of wine areas, climates, grape varieties, vineyard management, winemaking plus well gained extra “wine mileage” under my palate (“educative drinking” I call it at home). Today, I feel much happier helping people with wine. Much more so than during my Oxford’s Odddins times. I would have not felt this had I only remained limited to selling wine.

There is something else I have found. A bigger joy. After all the failed services I have attempted, the things that I got wrong, the trial and error approach did deliver a result. I discovered “wine experiences”. I love creating experiences, bringing people together with wine. In the vineyards, on bikes (yeap!) or in a meeting room. I have now the chance to think differently. Use wine as a tool to create immersive moments. Open wine to all its layers, to its human side. I can explore new ways of communicating beyond the basic tasting, drinking and explaining act.

Wine has never felt like “the liquid',' in any part of my life. 

If I close my eyes, I see memories of my childhood, where I come from, my granddad. I see life turning points, pivotal moments. New beginnings. I see my wife. I see life in the UK. I see growing up. I see friends. I see magical moments. I see emotions. I see challenges. I see who I am. I see Emma to the left, Emiliano to the right. I see Mendoza all around.

Wine gave me a life that I never thought I could have. Like when I walked into that wine shop on Oxford High Street. Crossing that door to ask for a job did really change everything I ever had. 

Wine feels different. I need to acknowledge that. I will make a pinky promise to myself. Respect and honour that fact. 

So next time, if we happen to cross paths, I hope that it does not feel weird when I tell you that I don’t like selling wine. That I never have. 

In one of his great days, the original Juan said something with words, that then, he emphasized with a smile: 

“Wine is above all, a bonding human experience”  

...and who am I to disagree with my grandad?

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Note to the native English reader: Evidently, English is not my mother language, so if you find grammatical, verb tenses or any other relevant mistakes that affect the music of my three-part story, please send to me your corrections. I appreciate your kindness, one day I will get it right the first time. Here you can find me. However, if you read the Spanish, Italian, French or whatever language it pops behind, and…you can live with that, send to me a “Hip Hip Hurrayyyyy mate”, “Well-done” or whatever cheerful vibe. You can post it anywhere you like!